“Let your child know there are lots of ways to show disappointment, but it’s never okay to say mean, disparaging, or untruthful words about others just because your feelings are hurt.”

Teaching children to lose gracefully so they can lose with dignity as adults

November 07, 2020 by Shauna Tominey

During my years as an early childhood teacher, I learned very quickly which children were driven to be the best - the fastest - the winner. Some children were not especially bothered by losing, whereas others turned every opportunity into a competition. These children were the first to reach the classroom door when the bell rang, the first to finish their lunch, and the first to raise their hand when a teacher asked a question. It was often these same children who struggled with big feelings when they lost.

I remember one boy in particular, “Charles.” Charles fell into a tantrum one afternoon after losing a board game to “Henry.” Through his tears, Charles sobbed, “I know it’s okay to lose. I just don’t want to lose to him! He cheated.” Henry and Charles were at the front of the class when it came to racing to be first. Henry had not cheated, but Charles’s feelings were hurt.

Managing feelings that come with losing can be challenging for preschoolers and adults alike. In preschool, we are the best at everything - or so we believe - and this makes it especially hard to lose. It’s not until early elementary school that most children develop a more realistic vision of themselves along with their skills and abilities. No one likes to lose, but we can help our children learn how to manage their feelings when they do while also helping them practice good sportsmanship. Whether playing a game with our children at home or cheering them on from the sidelines, here are strategies to help children learn to win and lose gracefully so that they can do so with dignity as adults:

Play “low stakes” games together where everyone takes turns winning and losing. From board games to games in the car, make supportive competition part of your family routine in a way that doesn’t make winning or losing too big of a deal. Short games that allow players to lose, win, and try again in a supportive environment can help your child see that both are part of having fun together.
Acknowledge disappointment from losing. Teach your child that it’s okay to feel disappointed after losing. Feeling disappointed is normal, but there are different ways to express that disappointment. Some children may be ready to jump back in and play again. Others may need to step away from the game, take a break, ask for a hug, spend a little time alone, listen to music, or read a book to calm down. Let your child know there are lots of ways to show disappointment, but that it’s never okay to say mean, disparaging, or untruthful words about others just because your feelings are hurt (e.g., “I’m supposed to win - not them! They must have cheated!”). Even if your child wins, talk about how those who lost are feeling. How do you think they are feeling? Have you ever felt that way?
Practice good sportsmanship. Share with your child that even if they feel upset or disappointed, they can practice good sportsmanship by congratulating those who did win. Find meaningful ways to be a good sport even during informal games at home whether you win or lose. Shake hands. Say, “Good game!” Share a genuine compliment with the other player or players to let them know something they did that was really positive or showed skill/improvement. Thinking about others’ feelings can often help children manage their own (e.g., “They worked really hard - just like me!”).
Be a role model for your child. Whether you win or lose the games you play with your child, use these moments as opportunities to be a positive role model. Share with your child when you feel disappointed or frustrated after losing and show them how you manage your feelings (e.g., “Sometimes I take a deep breath and tell myself that it’s okay to be upset. Then I remember how much I enjoyed playing with you. Just because I lost doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time, too.”).
Talk about luck and chance. Losing in any situation is no fun and some children have a strong response to losing no matter what. For other children (and adults), the type of situation makes a difference. Some games take very little effort to win or lose, relying mostly on chance (e.g., rolling dice or choosing cards at random). Talk with children about luck and chance and let them know that sometimes you choose cards that help you win and sometimes you don’t - this is not your fault and does not reflect on who you are. Over time, games of chance become easier for children to win/lose and are a great way to practice managing their feelings.
Use a growth mindset and focus on effort. For children and adults alike, it can feel harder to lose at a game or competition that relies on personal or team performance than losing a game based on chance. When children are preparing for a competition, praise them for the effort they put in and for how hard they worked (“You have been practicing a lot! I can tell how much you’ve learned.”). Focus on effort even after a competition ends whether your child won or lost. This encourages children to recognize that they can practice, improve, learn, and grow, making it more likely they will try again. Focusing on winning as the most important outcome (e.g., “being a winner” or “not being a loser”) can negatively impact a child’s self-esteem. Rather than believing they have the potential to grow, children may turn hurt feelings inward, believing they are a failure or not good enough. These types of feelings can make being a good sport especially hard.
Turn losing into an opportunity to reflect and learn. After calming down from initial feelings of upset or disappointment, reflect together on the game or competition. Ask questions like, “What went well?” “Is there something you learned that will help next time?” These types of questions might be especially helpful for games that require skill (e.g., chess, physical sports). For competitions grounded in ideas, beliefs, values, and/or popularity (e.g., a school or presidential election), it may be helpful to practice positive reframing (e.g., “My opponent had ideas that resonated with more people than mine did. Maybe those ideas are a better fit for what is wanted and needed. Maybe I could learn from those ideas, too.”).

Being a good sport after winning or losing comes more naturally to some children than others, but all children can learn these skills with practice and support. Charles and Henry never lost their competitive spirits, but they did learn to stop saying hurtful words about one another when they lost. They even took pride in one another’s wins from time to time and at very least, learned to shake hands before turning away to manage their disappointment.

Shauna Tominey, Ph.D is an Assistant Professor at Oregon State University and serves as the statewide coordinator for the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative, an initiative to provide high-quality parenting education. As a former early childhood teacher and parenting educator, Shauna blends practical experience with research to develop programs aimed at promoting social-emotional skills for children and the adults in their lives. She is the author of “Creating Compassionate Kids: Essential Conversations to Have With Young Children.”

Supporting Our Children (and Ourselves) During COVID-19/Coronavirus

May 07, 2020 by Shauna Tominey

Photo by monkeybusinessimages/iStock / Getty Images

Supporting our Children (and Ourselves) During COVID-19/Coronavirus and other Stressful Times Q&A

Q: What can I do to manage my own stress and help my children manage the stress they are having? Is it possible my child is feeling stressed even if they aren’t showing it?

We all can step back and recognize that we are in a situation that is likely to come with heightened stress for all of us. That stress is going to come out in lots of different ways for children and adults alike. Children are carrying their own heightened stress AND they pick up on our stress as well. At this time, we might also be short on sleep and out of our normal routines. With all of that, we’re more likely to be in that “fight, flight, or freeze” mode and that can lead us to say things we don’t mean or act in ways we don’t feel good about. That’s true for children and adults. When things aren’t going our way (e.g., we ask our child kindly to turn off the TV, but they don’t respond), we might try to express ourselves in a quiet or calm way first, but then escalate to yelling or reacting strongly when we don’t feel heard. Our children do this too. Sometimes they ask for something but don’t feel heard or they don’t know how to express what they need so it comes out in bigger ways like tantrums.

Other ways that stress might come out in children:

Tantrums
More tears
Heightened reactions to situations that seem like they should be “no big deal”
Difficulty sleeping
Changes in long-standing patterns
Regression (e.g., bathroom accidents)
Unusual responses to everyday activities (e.g., a child refusing to do something they do every day with no problem)
Children asking for help on things they usually do on their own
Children needing more time to complete tasks or learning activities than they might normally need

Remember - It’s okay to feel stressed at this time, too. A little stress can help us respond more quickly in a crisis. A little stress helps us jump to action! A little stress can help us perform better and juggle all that we’re juggling across remote work and home life. A lot of stress, however, makes it harder to be our best selves, harder to be the professional we want to be, and harder to be the parents we want to be. Taking care of ourselves - even in little ways or for a few minutes at a time - can make a big difference.

Strategies for managing our own stress (parents/adults):

Try these self-care strategies to take care of yourself throughout the day. Remember that your stress impacts your child and your ability to respond to your child in a calm way.

Recognize how your body feels throughout the day - is your heart rate up or down? Is your breathing fast or slow? Are you tense or relaxed? Take a moment to check in with yourself.
Take a few deep breaths and see if you can bring yourself to a calmer state. Think about what you can do for yourself throughout the day to manage stress. What works for you?
Take a walk or work out (while maintaining social distancing).
Get into a routine where you are getting enough sleep.
Try to make healthy eating choices as much as possible.
Stay socially connected with family and friends on the phone or through video chats.
Read a book (even for a few minutes).
Step out into nature or look out the window.
Reflect on what you feel thankful for you in your life.
Start a journal and spend time reflecting on what went well each day.

Recognize that you’re not alone in this! We are experiencing a global crisis and this is impacting ALL families across our state and beyond. There are parenting resources available to support you on your journey, for example:

The Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative (OPEC) is a partnership between OSU and four Foundations (Oregon Community Foundation, The Ford Family Foundation, Meyer Memorial Trust, and the Collins Foundation). OPEC hubs supports a network of parenting hubs around the state of Oregon and in Siskiyou County, California. You can follow OPEC on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/OPECParentingEd/ for resources on how to talk with children about COVID-19, ideas for activities at home, and to access free online parenting workshops and classes as they become available.

Strategies for helping children manage their stress/emotions:

Validate your own and your child’s feelings. Let children know all of their feelings are okay! “It’s okay to feel disappointed. I’m sad too that we can’t go. Do you want to talk about it?” Allow your child a chance to share their feelings while you listen without trying to solve the problem. It’s okay to feel disappointed and it’s okay to spend time grieving the loss of time with family and friends or missed experiences.
Offer children a way to express their feelings. So often we jump to helping children change their feelings, especially unpleasant feelings (e.g., “Don’t cry. Calm down. Let’s do something to feel happy!”). Instead of trying to change your child’s feelings, help them learn healthy ways to express those feelings first (e.g., “Sometimes when I’m disappointed, I like to listen to talk about my feelings or just listen to music quietly. Do you think you would like to do that right now? What would be most helpful to you?”).
Brainstorm strategies for your child to shift their feelings when they are ready. You might ask children, “Do you want to hold on to your disappointed feelings or are you ready to change how you are feeling?” When your child is ready, brainstorm ways to shift your feelings. Listen to music. Read a book together. Take a walk. Exercise. Draw a picture.
Acknowledge that it’s okay for feelings to come and go. Even after going through these steps, recognize that your child’s feelings might come back and that’s okay! Working through feelings of disappointment doesn’t mean that your child won’t think about a situation again. They likely will and when that happens, go through these steps again. It takes time to process our feelings.
Use storybooks and/or movies to talk through feelings. Feelings are happening all around us all the time. Using storybooks or movies that we watch together to talk through feelings can help children practice these strategies outside of emotionally-charged moments!

When we have moments we don’t feel good about (e.g., our stress gets the better of us!)- do repair work. Here are strategies for how to reconnect:

When we do have moments where we react in a way we don’t feel good about, we can use those as teaching moments with our children. After calming ourselves and our children down, come back to the conversation.

Take a break and return to the issue or challenge at a time when you and your child are both feeling calmer.
Let your child know that you don’t feel good about what you said or did (“I’m really sorry that I yelled earlier. I shouldn’t have done that.”).
Without blaming, let your child know how you were feeling (“I felt really frustrated when I asked you to clean up your room. When you didn’t answer, I thought you were ignoring me.”).
Ask your child how they were feeling.
Share with your child what you wished you would have done differently and involve them in problem-solving what they could have done differently as well.

Going through this process helps teach your child that we all have feelings and that’s okay. We don’t make good choices all the time - none of us do. But coming back together and talking through our feelings and what we can do differently next time can help our children learn to do the same.

Here are articles with strategies for helping children manage big emotions at any time!

Here are some additional resources specific to COVID-19/coronavirus:

Q: How do you explain to little ones what “social distancing” means? Why people are wearing masks?

Be honest and use language your child will understand. Let children know what is happening and why. Very young children (infants, toddlers, and young preschoolers) may not understand why they can’t go to school or child care or see friends and family members. They may also feel unsettled by changes in family routines or nervous about seeing people wearing masks. Share your inner thoughts out loud. Explain to children what is happening and why. Let them know that we are being helpers - that there is a disease called the coronavirus (or COVID-19) that can make people sick. Most children don’t get very sick from the coronavirus, but even if they don’t get sick, they might be able to pass the virus to other people. We are staying home to make sure the disease doesn’t get passed around and make people we care about - our family and community - sick. Everyone is doing this to be a helper for one another. People are wearing masks so that if they have the disease and they don’t know it, they won’t spread germs to other people. That helps keep us all healthy.
Even if children are not able to understand your words, explain out loud anyway. children look at their parents for cues as to how to respond in any given situation. If you use words to explain what you see and why, your calm tone of voice will be reassuring to your child. Talking with children and youth about what we are doing and why boosts their understanding of the situation and can help them feel safe and build their critical thinking skills.
Talk with children and youth about the importance of washing our hands and social distancing. Practicing healthy habits to take care of our bodies (washing hands, making healthy eating choices, exercising, getting enough sleep) are all important. Practice strategies together and also talk about why these strategies are so important - for ourselves and for protecting the health of others. (See the list of resources below about talking with children about COVID-19). This same strategy (talking about what we are doing and why) applies to all aspects of our lives, including in the way we talk about our feelings. Sharing our feelings and talking about how to manage them is important for our social-emotional wellbeing.
Consider talking with your children about how you are feeling and give them the chance to talk about their feelings, too. Share your own feelings in a developmentally-appropriate way. Very young children may have a hard time understanding everything that is happening and, as parents, we may not want to overwhelm them with all of the details and particularly with the unknown. It’s still okay to share our feelings though. As a parent, letting your child know that you feel worried or afraid, let’s them know that their feelings are okay too. It is especially important, however, to let your child know what you are doing to manage those feelings so that your child can have strategies too (e.g., “I’m feeling worried because I don’t know what is going to happen. You know what helps me when I feel worried? First, I love getting a big hug from you. That helps me calm my worries. Then I think about all of the things we are doing to stay healthy and keep other people healthy. Can you think of what those things are?“).
Focus on what we know and what we are doing to keep our bodies healthy and safe and to keep other people safe.
Reassure children that they are with their family (or caregivers) who care about them.
Talk about what we can do to be a helper at this time.

Not knowing how to help navigate children through a new challenge is something parents experience all the time. New issues are constantly coming up along with new technologies. Our children face struggles that are different from those we experienced growing up and our children have different personalities than we do so even when they face similar challenges, they experience them in different ways. Parents are always kept on their toes trying to figure out how to support their children best. This situation is so unusual because we’re experiencing a new and unpredictable challenge in a GLOBAL way and it’s impacting everyone - children, youth, and adults. We’re all going through it at the same time and we are all experiencing uncertainty, fear, stress, and disappointment together.

This also means that we have the opportunity to reach out and gain support from one another. We can join online parenting groups to learn from other parents. We can follow organizations that are offering online resources. We can connect remotely (phone or video) with friends and family and brainstorm together. We can grow by finding strength in one another.

We might also take time everyday to practice gratitude and talk about what we feel grateful for.

And finally, we can also brainstorm ways that we can be a helper. Keeping ourselves and others we care about healthy is one way to be a helper. Calling or video-chatting with friends and relatives is another way we can stay connected and bring joy to other people (and ourselves). What else can we do to help our family and others in our community?

Ideas for connecting with your young child during this time/family activities

As you and your children adjust to new patterns at home, be forgiving of yourself. You may not feel equipped to teach your child everything you think they should learn, but keep in mind that learning never stops. Every moment that we connect with a child matters. These moments are a chance to teach new vocabulary, share how we think about the world, model strategies for how to manage emotional ups and downs, practice problem-solving skills, and think creatively. With what you have at home and a focus on connection, you can help your children feel loved just being who they are and that may be the most important lesson we can share with our children any day. Below is a list of bulleted strategies that are explained in this article: https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/learning-at-home-5-steps-to-plan-your-day

Establish a family routine, but stay flexible as needed.
Set manageable daily family goals.
Use what you have on hand.
Make learning part of the conversation.
Have realistic expectations for your child and yourself!

Additional resources:

Additional links to activities for at-home:

What I Learned from Teaching my Daughter about Empathy

September 02, 2018 by Shauna Tominey

This blog post contains an excerpt from the forthcoming book, Creating Compassionate Kids: Essential Conversations to Have with Young Children by Shauna Tominey.

One day when my daughter was about three-and-a-half, we were walking together toward our car talking about her day at preschool. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a man making his way toward us from across the street. His clothes were torn and unkempt. His hair was wild and his beard was littered with debris.

I tightened my hold on my daughter’s hand, quickened my step, and avoided eye contact as I hurried by, giving all of the signs I could that I would not engage. I breathed a sigh of relief as he passed without so much as a glance.

As we reached the car, my daughter asked:

“Mom, did you see that man?”
“Yes.”
“His leg was hurt.”
“How do you know that?”
“He walked funny and had a cane. I hope he is okay.”

The tension I felt making a beeline for the car melted away in that moment. With her words, my daughter taught me an important lesson about empathy.

In my haste to protect my daughter from a perceived threat, I put my own sense of empathy on hold. Although I convinced myself that this man might be a threat to our safety (he wasn’t), the real threat was that he made me feel uncomfortable.

In exchange for saving myself that discomfort, I gave up an opportunity to be the parent that I want to be – the kind of parent who models empathy and kindness, even when it is uncomfortable to do so. Even if all I had to offer was a connection through eye contact or a smile, I could have made another choice – the choice my daughter made to consider the feelings of another human being.

For children and adults alike, empathy matters. Empathy relates to many positive outcomes, ranging from increased pro-social behaviors and cooperation1 to better learning and higher academic outcomes.2

In my past position as the Director of Early Childhood at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and in my new role as an Assistant Professor of Practice/Parenting Education Specialist at Oregon State University, a significant part of my life has been and still is devoted to teaching empathy. What I learned from my daughter is that I have more to learn. When it comes to showing empathy and kindness, we can all be better and do better.

So what can we parents/caregivers and educators of young children do to model and teach empathy? Here are a few ideas!

Use your relationship with your child to teach them how to treat others and how they should expect to be treated by others

Spend one-on-one time with your child cuddling, snuggling, hugging, sharing stories, or enjoying being together in the way that your family likes best. Children’s early relationships can shape the friends they choose as well as how they treat others.3,4
Use words with your child that you wouldn’t mind hearing them say back to you (or to their friends or teachers). Imagine your child shouting, “Cut it out! I’m sick of this!” at school. We can all say things when we’re upset that we don’t mean and hearing these words come out of our own children’s mouths can be surprising! It would probably go over better if they said, “I don’t like it when you do that.” This doesn’t mean only using words with your child that you would use with a friend. We would never tell our friends to “be sure and say thank you,” or “don’t forget to wipe your mouth with a napkin.” Guiding and teaching our children is an important part of our role as parents and caregivers, but it is also important for us to take time to intentionally choose the words and tone of voice that we feel best using and that we would feel good about our children using.

Talk about feelings – yours, your child’s, and others’

Regardless of our race, ethnicity, culture, religion, sexual orientation, or gender identity – we all have feelings. The idea that we can connect through feelings no matter how similar or different our lives are is at the heart of empathy development. Ask questions that help your child make this connection. “He looks really upset. Have you ever felt that way before?” “She must feel very proud. What makes you feel proud?”
Let your child know that all of their feelings are okay. There are times when we all feel angry, disappointed, frustrated, happy, and excited. Sharing stories with your child about times that you have had these feelings as well as asking your child to share what makes them have these feelings is one way to teach them this message.
Sometimes it is easier to talk about other people’s feelings than our own. Using characters in stories or movies can be a great way to practice thinking about feelings.5 Ask your child questions like:
- How do you think he or she is feeling?
- How do you know they are feeling that way?
- What happened that led to that feeling?
- What would you do if you felt that way? Do you like having that feeling?
- What could you do for a friend who is feeling that way?

Help your child learn how to connect with others

We often tell our children to find a friend to play with at the park, but we don’t always feel comfortable doing the same. Model for your child how to meet someone new. Introduce yourself to other parents or families at the park or grocery store. If this is uncomfortable for you, consider sharing that with your child, “I feel nervous meeting new people, but today I decided to be brave and make a new friend,” or “I really like meeting new people, but not everyone feels that way. How do you feel when you meet someone new?”
Support your child when they introduce themselves to others by offering them words to use like: “My name is… What’s your name? Do you want to play together?”
Help your child learn to recognize social cues. “It looks like she really wants to play with you. I noticed her watching you and smiling when you were in the sandbox.” or “I don’t think he wants that shovel. He keeps trying to push it away when you give it to him. Why don’t you set it down.” You can also point out your child’s social cues to others. “I don’t think he wants a hug right now. Maybe a high five instead?” Acknowledging your child’s cues and helping them recognize the cues of others helps children learn to treat others how they want to be treated (rather than how we want to treat them).
Most children are naturally curious about other people. Young children often show this curiosity through staring or pointing, something we actively discourage: “Don’t stare. It’s not polite to point!” Instead, encourage your child’s curiosity. Teach them how to talk about similarities and to ask about differences in a way that is respectful and shows genuine curiosity. “I have that same shirt!” “I never saw one of those before. Can you tell me about it?” Not everyone will be interested in talking with your child, especially if they are pointing out something that stands out (e.g., a woman wearing a hijab, a man in a wheelchair, a child with braces), but you may find yourself surprised at how many will appreciate the chance to have a conversation!

Help your child make amends – not just say “I’m sorry”

When your child hurts another child (or an adult), whether it is a physical hurt or hurt feelings, help your child think about the other person’s feelings (“How do you think that made them feel?). Encourage your child to say, “I’m sorry,” but also to ask, “Are you okay?” and “What can I do to help you feel better?” Ask your child what they could do differently next time.
Sometimes as parents, we do things that we don’t feel good about. We can use these moments to model how to make amends. If you feel comfortable doing so, use these same steps above to make amends with your child: “I was feeling really frustrated earlier when you wouldn’t take a bath. I’m sorry that I yelled at you – I shouldn’t have done that. Next time I’ll take a deep breath and try to stay calm, but I also need your help. What do you think we can do to make bath time be better?” Wouldn’t it be amazing to hear your teenage child say to you: “I’m sorry I yelled. I was feeling frustrated when you told me I couldn’t stay out late. I should have kept my calm so we could talk about it.”? To get there, we have to lay a foundation early on to show them how!

Model empathy throughout the day

Look for ways you and your child can help others and your community. Be sure to explain to your child what you are doing and why. For example, when picking up trash around your neighborhood, let your child know that, “this is something we can do to make our neighborhood a nicer place! I bet our neighbors will be so surprised when they see how nice our street looks!” Or when holding the door open for a stranger tell your child, “I noticed he looked tired so I wanted to help out!”
Show your child how to think about situations from another person’s point of view. “I felt really frustrated when that woman cut in front of us at the store. I bet she was in a hurry. Maybe she was late for an appointment.” This can be especially hard to do when feeling frustrated, but all the more important to model to help our child learn to do the same.

At this time in our world when societal tensions are high, laying a foundation for empathy feels especially pressing.

A few weeks ago, my daughter overheard a man asking people walking by to buy him a sandwich because he was hungry. She stopped and opened her lunch bag. I had seen this man before with his bloodshot eyes. On other days, I had chosen to walk around him.

Standing with my daughter that day, I made a different choice. The choice to be the model that I want to be. My daughter held out her applesauce and spoon and I said, “my daughter heard you say you were hungry and wanted to share her lunch with you.”

Much to my surprise, the man got down on his knees, looked my daughter in the eyes and gently said, “Thank you. You did the right thing today by sharing. Your mama taught you right. I’m not going to take your lunch because you’re a growing girl and you really need it. I’m already grown. I’m big and I need a big sandwich, but don’t you worry about me. Someone is going to share a sandwich with me soon. Just know that you did the right thing.”

He stood up, gave me a big grin, and gave my daughter a big thumbs up. I apologized for not having money with me to buy him a sandwich. He smiled back, “Don’t worry about that. Just keep teaching your daughter what you’re teaching her.”

I will never forget the lesson in empathy and kindness I learned that day both from my daughter and from our new friend, “Mr. C.” Sometimes as parents, we step out of our own comfort zones for our children. This was one of those times for me and I am grateful that I did.

Mr. C. now smiles and waves whenever we pass his corner. He never asks for money, but always gives my daughter a big thumbs up. I smile and wave back and stop and buy him a sandwich when I can.

I find myself wondering daily: what can I do today to teach my daughter about empathy? Although this is an important question, maybe I should also be asking myself: what will I learn from my daughter about empathy today?

Additional Resources

How to Help Your Child Develop Empathy

https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/5-how-to-help-your-child-develop-empathy

How Parents Can Cultivate Empathy in Children

http://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-mcc/files/empathy.pdf

References

Taylor, Z. E., Eisenberg, N., Spinrad, T. L., Eggum, N. D., & Sulik, M. J. (2013). The relations of ego-resiliency and emotion socialization to the development of empathy and prosocial behavior across early childhood.Emotion, 13(5), 822.
Bonner, T. D., & Aspy, D. N. (1984). A study of the relationship between student empathy and GPA. The Journal of Humanistic Education and Development, 22(4), 149-154.
Murphy, T. P., & Laible, D. J. (2013). The influence of attachment security on preschool children’s empathic concern. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 0165025413487502.
Panfile, T. M., & Laible, D. J. (2012). Attachment security and child’s empathy: The mediating role of emotion regulation. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly,58(1), 1-21.
Brownell, C. A., Svetlova, M., Anderson, R., Nichols, S. R., & Drummond, J. (2013). Socialization of early prosocial behavior: Parents’ talk about emotions is associated with sharing and helping in toddlers. Infancy, 18(1), 91-119.